Hercules and the Wagoner 2.0

A story about a wagoner, a muddy road, Hercules, and the internet.

One hot, muggy morning, a wagoner was driving his oxcart through a small dirt road. It had been raining the past few days, and the road was very muddy. As he went farther down the path, his ox was finding it harder and harder to pull the cart.

Soon enough, one of the oxcart's wheels got stuck in the mud and the ox can no longer pull it out. The wagoner got off the cart, saw how deeply the wheel was stuck and despaired over his predicament.

"Oh, what great trouble I am in!" he cried. He went down on his knees and prayed to the god Hercules for aid. "O great Hercules! Help me in my time of need!"

Hercules took notice of his prayer and descended from Olympus, but looked on in dismay when he saw that the wagoner did nothing to push the oxcart himself.

"Get off your knees man," boomed Hercules, "and put your shoulders to the cart! I will not help those who will not even help themselves!" In one giant leap, he took off and returned to Olympus.

The wagoner, unimpressed by Hercules' response, turned to the Internet instead.


{ "subname" : "d/wagoner", "title" : "Oxcart stuck in mud, need help!", "poster" : "user/GoldbrickWagoner", "image" : "./svg/wagoner-stuck.svg", "content" : "Oxcart's stuck, don't know how to get it out. #helpme #cartproblems" } *@WheelBoy7 I've been to that road. It's terrible. #taxdollarsatwork [+450] **@ChangeTheState The [current administration] is really letting our infrastructure go to shit. This is what you get when you vote for [fear]. [+169] **@PatriotDan Bullshit. The [last guy] spent all his term doing nothing and now you blame the [current guy] for his crap. Go to [Canada] where you belong. [+153] **@ChangeTheState More fake news for bots and morons. The [current administration] just cut the budget for roads by 20% and you people are still sucking their dick. [+126] **@ObjectivistAisA This is why I vote libertarian. [-356] ***@PatriotDan Oh yeah that works /sarcasm [+73] ***@ChangeTheState It's idiots like you who split the vote that got us into this. [+84] **[moreComments 352] *@CartVeteran This has been asked a billion times. Search before you post! [+128] **@WagonUtopia Don't be a dick, he's just asking a question. It's people like you that are driving people out of this subduggit. [+20] **@CartVeteran Oh it's you again. Ever get off your high horse? [+1] **@WagonUtopia Ever get your head out your ass? [+1] **@WagonMaster5 I'm getting popcorn, this is gonna be good. [+52] **[moreComments 126] *@DriverDave56 Maybe you can try pushing. [-1]
Self help is the best help.
Internet help is no help.
fat4eyes 2018/7/26