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Tip for non-programmers: if you don't understand a term, just substitute Star Trek technobabble for it, like so:
"Java brought a lot of features to mainstream programming that made it easier to keep your programs in working order. Things like warp manifolds, subspace phase inverters and tachyon detection grids allowed programmers to create ever more complex systems that were still easy to maintain."
And for the programmers, here's a quick rundown for other languages:
Python: Until you make your language not break when I run it through a tab to space converter, I'm not using it. C rank.
Perl: Good for what it was designed for (processing text files). Bad for anything else. D rank.
Typescript: Brings order to the chaos of Javascript. B rank.
C#: Both better and worse than Java. Suffers from kitchen sink design. B rank.
C++: Is like putting gaudy makeup on the Mona Lisa. D rank.
Prolog: The one language that has a valid excuse for not having static types. C rank.
SQL: Thankfully, the last remnant of the COBOL school of language design. Someone please put it out of its misery. E rank.